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March 01 JokeA couple made a deal that whoever died first, they would come back and inform the other of the after life. Her biggest fear was there was no heaven. After a long life the husband was the first to go and true to his word he made contact. Mary... Mary.... Is that you Fred? Yes, I have come back like we agreed. What is it like? Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, off to the golf course, I have sex, I bathe in the sun, then I have sex-twice, I have lunch, off to the golf course again then sex pretty much all afternoon-supper-then sex till late at night, sleep then start all over again. Oh Fred you surely must be in heaven. Eh no, I'm a rabbit in Portrush. LifeAnother wee update. havent been on here in ages! life is still hectic! still studying full time, mum to my two gorgeous kids aged 9 and 5, still partying hard when I get the chance and still lovin life. it really does keep gettin better and better. Well keep smilin peeps! SO TRUE!WHY IS IT WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH....? Yes Girls its soo true WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR BAG IS (WHETHER WE'RE CLUTCHING IT OR NOT) WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST MOVE AROUND AND EVERYONE IS STARING CUZ THEYRE IN LOVE WITH US. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT WE COULD DO IT TOO. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE (PROVIDING THAT WAS IN A REAL TOILET), WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO. WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE, THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOO MUCH. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAYS BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG! THIS IS SOOOO MY SONG!" OUR EYES JUST DON'T SEEM TO WANT TO STAY OPEN ON THEIR OWN SO WE KEEP THEM HALF CLOSED AND THINK IT LOOKS EROTICALLY SEXY. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING US LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE VODKA. WE START EVERY CONVERSATION WITH A BOOMING, "DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY BUT....." OUR HUGS BEGIN TO RESEMBLE WRESTLING TAKE-DOWN MOVES. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT lifeYou gotta take the good with the bad, smile with the sad. love what you've got and remember what you've had. learn to forgive, but never forget. learn from your mistakes but never regret people change, things go wrong just remember LIFE GOES ON! loveLove is... Giving someone the chance to destroy you... and trusting them not to.. March 14 heheheheA frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.' Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfec tly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.' She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?' The bank manager looks back at her and says... 'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone. hehe"ABSINTHE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER!!" March 13 Amazin!Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe tuo fo 100 anc. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it!! LIFEDrink triple, see double, act single and if you dont remember it, it didnt happen! hope for us all!-------------------Girls---------------------- --------------are like apples---------------- ---------on trees. The best ones----------- --------are at the top of the tree.---------- ------The boys dont want to reach-------- ----for the good ones because they------- --are afraid of falling and getting hurt.---- -Instead, they just get the rotten apples-- ---from the ground that aren't as good, -- -but easy. So the apples at the top think- -something is wrong with them, when in-- ----reality, they're amazing. They just---- -----have to wait for the right boy to------ -------come along, the one who's--------- -------------brave enough to--------------- ------------------climb all------------------- ------------------ the way------------------- ------------------to the top------------------ -----------------of the tree.----------------- LIFE!As we grow up,we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let u down probably will. You will have ur heart broken, probably more than once, & it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too,so remember how it felt when urs was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast & you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures,laugh too much,Dance like no one is watchin & love like you've never been hurt because every 60 seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness u'll never get back. Find someone who calls you beautiful instead of hot; who calls u back when u hang up on them; who will stay awake just 2 watch u sleep. Wait for the one who kisses ur forehead; who wants to show you off to the world when you're in your sweats; who holds ur hand in front of their friends. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much they care about u. Always be yourself dont change for anyone, the one who loves you wont want you 2 change! August 18 forgot i had this so its been updated!Hola all!!
Life is pretty hectic at the min, Im full time at uni studying occupational therapy as well as a single mum to my son and daughter, aged 8 and 4. I am really lovin life at the min. I say that all the time but it just keeps gettin better and better - I love it!!
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